I woke up the morning of Saturday, October 25, 2008 feeling somewhat expectant. As I drove to church I prayed almost nonstop, I wanted to experience God in a new way. I had attended quite a number of anointing / Holy Ghost services and I felt that for the fact I chose to attend this one instead of traveling out of town, I had to experience something special. I didn’t know what to expect, I just wanted extra and that’s all I communicated with my father….
God touched me in ways I could never have imagined. I was broken, still broken and humbled at the love God showed me.
Prior to that day, I couldn’t come boldly to my father’s presence; I questioned my heritage, my adoption... I felt depleted and there was an intense cry from deep within me to God to have mercy on me and accept me, I needed His reassurance that I was truly His and the peace that follows. It was a constant battle. I allowed the devil to steal my joy, kill my assurance of salvation and destroy my confidence. I was that wretched soul who was in need of her father, and He showed up and in a moment, restored all that the devil stole. I vividly remember how I felt God’s love that day. I felt it; it was so real I could almost touch it.
I saw myself as I truly was, the difference was I didn’t condemn myself, I didn’t want to hide in shame anymore. I was so aware of my inadequacies but His love was there, He was beckoning me to rise up, to see and accept His love for me. That was all I needed; to truly understand that God loves me. I knew I had a good measure of guilt, but didn’t realize that all I needed was a dose of God’s love to set me free, but He didn’t give me a dose, He gave me the whole package! I’m in awe!
Knowing and experiencing the love of God took me to the next level, it separated me from the ordinary and ushered me into the extraordinary, I felt reborn, delivered, set free and ready to take on the world…I’m trying my best to explain the feeling and I’m sure I am doing a poor job because you’d have to experience it to understand where I am coming from.
It’s been about 4 months since then but I hold on tightly to the love of God that I experienced, I refuse to let it go. It’s given me so much to hope for, so much to live for. I am now motivated by that love and my prayer is that everyone experience much more than what I experienced on that day. The beauty of God’s love is that it grows and cannot be contained; it’s so contagious that I am overwhelmed with the desire to love all of God’s creation. It’s indeed a remarkable experience!
Like God always does… He blows my mind.
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