As I listened to the song “Pray” by Cece Winans, it got me thinking… I have made some drastic mistakes that at one point made me want to disown myself. The guilt I felt on a regular basis made me almost believe I was beyond redemption. In the midst of my almost self rejection, there was something, though little but still there gaining momentum by the second that reassured me that God still loves me, and though a righteous man falls seven times, he still rises up again (Proverbs 24:16). God orders the steps of the righteous; though he stumbles, he will not fall for God keeps him with is mighty right arm (Ps 37:24). This knowledge gave me the much needed strength to pray to my heavenly father; He saw (and still sees) my heart and knows that I am His loving daughter who is ashamed of letting us (Him and me) down. I approached Him timidly but gradually gained confidence because I remembered His mercies, love and grace. I eventually went easy on myself because if God hadn’t condemned me (Romans 8:1), then no one else including me, should or has the right to. Besides, I should always come boldly into the throne room of grace and obtain mercy (Hebrews 4:16).
"If our hearts do not condemn us we have confidence to enter the presence of God" I John 3:21
I am constantly reminded of my frailty, inadequacies and filth, but I am more awed at the graciousness of my heavenly father who sees all of me but still loves and gives me second chances, I can't count how many second chances my father has given me. I surrender to him and fit perfectly inside his palm. In him, I am strong, sufficient, and blameless. I am honored to be his friend, child, and servant.
Let us be aware that it is sin that separates us from God, God won’t stop loving us, we on the other hand because of sin move away from the love of God. (Is 59:2) However, we should not be under the impression that our sins are too much for God to forgive. Granted, we should not continue to sin that grace may abound, and how can we that are dead to sin continue to live in sin? (Romans 6:1-2) God forbid! But when we do sin, we should confess and forsake our sins and obtain mercy! (Proverbs 28:13) Please note that you must confess, forsake and obtain mercy, we have to receive the mercy that God has offered.
My father says, “Come now, let us reason together, though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be wool”. Isaiah 1:18.
There is no sin too great for God to forgive! He also said “I will be merciful unto their unrighteousness and their sins and their iniquities I will remember no more” Hebrews 8:12
Someone (like me at some point) might say, but I’ve forsaken my sin, obviously and that is why I feel terrible about it, but why do I still feel so guilty? We need to accept the grace of God. I can’t over emphasize that God has forgiven us when we confess and forsake our sins. When you continue thinking your sins are too much for God to forgive, then you say, God, even your death on the cross is not sufficient for me, but how can we even begin to imagine that?
Couldn’t it have been godly sorrow? I mean, the bible did say that Godly sorrow brings about repentance without regret, right? (2 Corinthians 7:10). Yes it was godly sorrow that brought about the repentance in me., however, the passage says repentance without regret! The truth is that I had regret; a lot of it and it became a weakness for me and a stronghold for the devil.
“For the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy… “John 10:10
He tried to steal my joy, kill my assurance of salvation and destroy my confidence, and that is exactly what he’d do to anyone who would not accept the mercy of God and let go of guilt. Guilt is not from God, the Holy Spirit does not send us on guilt trips, He convicts us of sin so that we can repent and get back on track (Acts 17:11), anything outside of that is from the devil! We must be aware of that and fight the devil off.
Here’s some beneficial info I heard. “When God forgives our sins, the devil cannot accuse us in God’s presence for those sins anymore, so he comes back to us, reminding us of them!” Well, we know he is the accuser and we can’t blame him for doing his job, however, we need to be aware of his tactics and overcome him!
Have I overcome the guilt? Thank God YES! Funny thing is I used to carry it around like a luggage, how do I know that? Because I felt relief when it left, I felt lighter... oh how glorious it is to accept the mercies God so generously bestows on us! FIRST, God showed me His love like never before and then He took away my guilt.
“Blessed are those whose iniquities are forgiven, whose sins are covered.” Romans 4:7
Now, I have the feeling that thrills the Nene out of me, that feeling you get when the person you adore is at peace with you and is proud of you. That is the feeling I die for and when it is not there I can tell I have done it again! But it currently is, and I am overwhelmed at how good it makes me feel. I've found my one true love, I won't trade my relationship with my father for anything (by his grace!) and I hope you won't as well.
(Perfect and True (You have called me friend) by Fred Hammond is a wonderful song, try and listen to it if you haven't)
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